bird island season 8

 IM SO GLAD ITS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

HELP ME CHOOSE MY NEXT NAIL SET pLzZzzz

FILMING A GEL X VID FOR TIKTOK WHICH SET SHOULD I DO?

(putting a 3D flower on ring finger)

can you be an ethical looksmaxxer?

 I wonder if being an ethical looksmaxxer is a thing. I also wonder if you're a terrible person (I'm so dramatic) because you want to pick up on some of those looksmaxxing tips because I'll be honest I found myself exploring that rabbit hole. I do understand some of the racist undertones that actually a good majority of this beautymaxx/looksmaxxing  community is filled of, but you know how you can take a little something from here a little something from there and make it your own? That's at least what I'm trying to do. See as a Black girl, I'm not trying to erase my blackness. I'm not trying to erase my features that easily point me to my origins. I just wanna simply enhance myself. I'm vain, fine I'll admit it. Yes I do feel like I can lose a couple inches from this side of my body. Yes, I do feel I could add more muscle to my overall body. Yes, I do feel like if my skin was just a bit more clear.. I don't know maybe I would love myself a little bit more. Now please don't get me wrong. If you know me, you know I am obsessed with myself. In fact that's the reason why I'm even exploring this community. I want to be my ultimate best self and I also do understand that this is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life. And you know what? That excites me I actually do love looking forward to bettering myself mentally and physically every single day... it gives me purpose.

I want to be honest and transparent to my viewers on here. Yes, I am picking up that needle and this is just for me because this is what I want to do and it brings me joy. I do not see others as less than if they are not doing the same thing I'm doing or even adjacent because, girl, like I said I'm VAIN. I'm only thinking of myself anyways lol.

umm.. so it was a crush actually

​really quick blog entry. guess who just realized they had an unrequited crush on their ex bestie.. ME! It’s me! now THIS is something i would actually tell a storytime on.. only if you want to hear it

does confrontation make anyone else feel... weird?

 Im no stranger to conflict, conflict resolution, confrontation.. in fact I think over the years I've been working on becoming better with it. My recent ex-bestfriend was also pretty good when it came to confrontation, incredibly outspoken when she needed to be and that was one of the things I truly admired about her and learned to sharpen my own tongue and stand up for myself just by watching her do it on her own. 

You ever confronted someone, a friend, with an issue you're having and feel a little bit tense because in your head you're thinking "gosh I hope they don't hate me for this." or "gosh I hope they don't take this the wrong way." It's exhausting because we should be able to talk about our feelings, we should be able to bring up conflict and work toward a solution.. right? Right... I try not to let those thoughts crowd my mind, id like to say I've gotten way better at that. But in the past that led me to people pleasing/shutting up. 

Recently I brought up an issue I was having to a friend, a good friend. But now I can't help but to think I possibly could've offended them? I reassured them that although I have this issue I don't believe they're a bad person or did something bad to me because they didn't. They just did something that made me feel uneasy and so I brought it up so we can talk about it. We talked... but now I haven't heard from them since then. I can't help but feel like I hurt them? Should I apologize now? But wouldn't that be wrong because... what would I be apologizing for? 

What if they just need space right now? I can honor that. Previous Me would overreact and invade that space asking tons of "are you mad at me?" or "why aren't you talking to me?" questions. 

Idk.. I'll just give them space, usually that's what people need and I am okay with that. 

ANYWAYSSS.. HAPPY FRIDAY 🐷

the gift of gab

 I wish there was a phrase for gossiping really good. Like how persuasive confident speakers have the "gift of gab". that definition would be soo much more cunt if it meant people who can cogently spill tea. anyways someone commented on my recent post that I should do a storytime on the tragic (some) events I went through and it had me thinkinggg...

and then quickly gathered myself. one thing about me? I can tell a gooood fucking story and I can gossip really well. in fact my bestie Juan used to always tell me back in school that I need to start a YouTube channel (coming soon) (well I already have one with 2 vids, just need to post again 😀) and make story times, he knew people would eat them up. as kinda compelling as it sounds, I did make a promise to myself that I would not come out and speak of any of my fall outs with people on the internet. I would probably speak of feelings or this and that but not actual detailed events, as I don't necessarily see it as beneficial and I believe these events can be left in my inner community. I still respect these people to an extent too so exposing their business just doesn't sound worth it. 

anyways that just had me thinking because ask me like 3+ years ago I would've been showing y'all I got the gift of gab (my definition 💋). xD basically, i'll speak on situations to an extent so y'all can still ask me anything... but will I answer all? *dun dun dunnn* 

k byeee muah 

surprise bitch… i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

​well well well…..

Guys I’ve been MIA literally in all my life omg not just my blog. So much has happened since last November which is my most recent blog post I have no idea where to start. I don’t even know if i WANNA start. Here are my stats right now, ask questions if you have any:
-homoerotic female friendship breakup
-toxic humiliationship breakup #wlw
-traveled to Brazil, New York, and Arizona #ayyyy
-lost myself(???)
-found myself 
-lost myself again ??
-locked in.

BASICALLY long story put incredibly short. 
Iets just say all of these moments simply changed me and also saved me. 
You know… i want to, and much rather be, that person that goes through these transformative events and instead of abandoning myself and my crafts it only pulls me more closer to them so i can work on them. 
I ask myself: how come when I’m losing my sh*t, to cope i stride even further away from myself. This is that double edge sword right, that only causes me to then do double the work when im finally ready to lock in… is it just me?