umm.. so it was a crush actually

​really quick blog entry. guess who just realized they had an unrequited crush on their ex bestie.. ME! It’s me! now THIS is something i would actually tell a storytime on.. only if you want to hear it

does confrontation make anyone else feel... weird?

 Im no stranger to conflict, conflict resolution, confrontation.. in fact I think over the years I've been working on becoming better with it. My recent ex-bestfriend was also pretty good when it came to confrontation, incredibly outspoken when she needed to be and that was one of the things I truly admired about her and learned to sharpen my own tongue and stand up for myself just by watching her do it on her own. 

You ever confronted someone, a friend, with an issue you're having and feel a little bit tense because in your head you're thinking "gosh I hope they don't hate me for this." or "gosh I hope they don't take this the wrong way." It's exhausting because we should be able to talk about our feelings, we should be able to bring up conflict and work toward a solution.. right? Right... I try not to let those thoughts crowd my mind, id like to say I've gotten way better at that. But in the past that led me to people pleasing/shutting up. 

Recently I brought up an issue I was having to a friend, a good friend. But now I can't help but to think I possibly could've offended them? I reassured them that although I have this issue I don't believe they're a bad person or did something bad to me because they didn't. They just did something that made me feel uneasy and so I brought it up so we can talk about it. We talked... but now I haven't heard from them since then. I can't help but feel like I hurt them? Should I apologize now? But wouldn't that be wrong because... what would I be apologizing for? 

What if they just need space right now? I can honor that. Previous Me would overreact and invade that space asking tons of "are you mad at me?" or "why aren't you talking to me?" questions. 

Idk.. I'll just give them space, usually that's what people need and I am okay with that. 

ANYWAYSSS.. HAPPY FRIDAY 🐷

the gift of gab

 I wish there was a phrase for gossiping really good. Like how persuasive confident speakers have the "gift of gab". that definition would be soo much more cunt if it meant people who can cogently spill tea. anyways someone commented on my recent post that I should do a storytime on the tragic (some) events I went through and it had me thinkinggg...

and then quickly gathered myself. one thing about me? I can tell a gooood fucking story and I can gossip really well. in fact my bestie Juan used to always tell me back in school that I need to start a YouTube channel (coming soon) (well I already have one with 2 vids, just need to post again 😀) and make story times, he knew people would eat them up. as kinda compelling as it sounds, I did make a promise to myself that I would not come out and speak of any of my fall outs with people on the internet. I would probably speak of feelings or this and that but not actual detailed events, as I don't necessarily see it as beneficial and I believe these events can be left in my inner community. I still respect these people to an extent too so exposing their business just doesn't sound worth it. 

anyways that just had me thinking because ask me like 3+ years ago I would've been showing y'all I got the gift of gab (my definition 💋). xD basically, i'll speak on situations to an extent so y'all can still ask me anything... but will I answer all? *dun dun dunnn* 

k byeee muah 

surprise bitch… i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

​well well well…..

Guys I’ve been MIA literally in all my life omg not just my blog. So much has happened since last November which is my most recent blog post I have no idea where to start. I don’t even know if i WANNA start. Here are my stats right now, ask questions if you have any:
-homoerotic female friendship breakup
-toxic humiliationship breakup #wlw
-traveled to Brazil, New York, and Arizona #ayyyy
-lost myself(???)
-found myself 
-lost myself again ??
-locked in.

BASICALLY long story put incredibly short. 
Iets just say all of these moments simply changed me and also saved me. 
You know… i want to, and much rather be, that person that goes through these transformative events and instead of abandoning myself and my crafts it only pulls me more closer to them so i can work on them. 
I ask myself: how come when I’m losing my sh*t, to cope i stride even further away from myself. This is that double edge sword right, that only causes me to then do double the work when im finally ready to lock in… is it just me? 

CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS SAMANTHA, THERES A NEW BOSS IN THE CITY 𝒫𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓇𝓁 𝒫𝑜𝓅 𝒰𝓅 𝟣𝟣/𝟢𝟫/𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟧

 November 9th 2025 marked the start of my Samantha (SATC) era cause wdym I'm this rich, hot, intelligent, city girl (love you LA 4EVAA) that is now running and throwing LAs hottest events all around the city. Also she's a effing top shot business LEADER, my spirit animal. I've never felt more closer to myself and my purpose hosting and running this event, and the feedback I got back from all the girlies only further confirmed I Know What The F Im Doing!💋 I hosted an all girls event: Pretty Girl Pop Up🎀(on a Sunday mind you) it was basically a content playground for baddies and their friends to take cool pictures, mingle, listen to amazinggg music (shoutout Floyd Zion🎸, ty for making me ur muse), drinks, games and VIBESSSS. It felt like I was on mimi just floating around the space interacting with the girls and honestly having a great time. I will throw more inclusive events in LA and eventually take this global. Maybe this'll be a new hobby hmmm.. I mean I'm pretty fckn good at it(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ 

it’s October, DONT fall in love.. or do

Anyone getting a resurgence of interest to fall in love again? No? Just me? …Send.. help?

no, kidding. But we’re nearing the Holidays, weather is getting chilly, hearts are growing more full, our exes are making an appearance again in our lives (this is a sneak). I mean hey I can’t blame any of you lovebirds (me) this tends to happen around this time. I mean Charlixcx DID say “fall in love again and again “ maybe I just want to take that literally?

I’ll be back at the end of the month for an update.

...the body keeps score

 Reflecting on maybe the worst (sooo dramatic) moments of my life and thinking of how inflamed I was physically. How much I was hurting and struggling mentally reflected in ways that I honestly would've never guessed. As signs to get out. Those "stomach issues" weren't just my typical bloating issues, it was more than anxiety as well. When I was with A, my stomach hurt all the time.. could barely eat.. and constantly bloated. She was two timing me. When I was with J, same thing. I won't touch on that because not much to say, just another sign for me. When I was with L and things were going so terribly wrong.. stomach issues. I wasn't a big b!tch I was a stressed b1tch!